♥ love was never easy and its never going to be easy .

:D samantha .13.~~pepsian~~ .clementeen. 27/10/95.samantha_27_10@hotmail.com D1/08.friends.gans are loved : ) the babes - claris & jinwen :)
-disclamier- If you dun like my blog or me then fuck off cause , i dun welcome you too : ( If you love my blog , enjoy reading : ) Please leave a tag before you leave . thanks : ) Spammers are not welcomed : )

~~1st month ♥ baby~~
grey .white skinnes
black or purple crumpler
~~zinc slingbag~~
memorable birthday 27'10'08
more $$
sunglasses
no failures for CA2 and SA2
grow taller and slimmer
shopping spree in KL . Singapore . Japan
sony camera
~~MUFC jersey~~
second.piercing
the babes to love me forever :)

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sorry :(

i know i very bad , i am bad ,bad, bad, bad,bad,bad, bad,bad,bad,bad,bad,bad .
sorry to the person in the last post cause was kinda pissed off :(
i know i hen bad hen bad , you never so bad but i so bad : (
i hate myself for being so bad so bad so bad so bad .
sorry sorry sorry : (
i hate my attitude , i hate everything about me , why cant i be more perfect ?
why cant we live in fairytale where everything ends like-lived happily ever after ?
why why why ?

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

7:35 AM

~~well it is dam fragile if only you dun treasure it:(~~

~~well, stop being steplian aand stop critising people then i will be your friend , pls lo~~
no one is perfect then why still critise others when they snatch yr "guy"
well,she never even snatch la , is yr "guy" like her mah .\and hor sometimes hang out with you make me super ps , and alot of ppl hate you so make them hate ustoo . i know we are selfish but who isnt , sometimes ppl take things for granted once they have them . i hate you?
okay , actually if not for the babes i didnt even want to befriend you , cause you act like and chao ahlian . in class outside also :(
and can be more tiongxim pls ?? i know i am not so i never ask you not to be hongster :(
pls stop ps us , if you wan to hang out with yr "Daddy"and the boys then wat for like call us the trio ?
go flirt now , since you are not one of us flirt all you wan :)
but stop act big like tat day can ?
will only make more ppl hate you .
then that day , keep repeating to jinwen that alot of ppl dun like her voice , what are you trying to say ?
then you always say things to hurt ppl, dun think ppl never hear can ? even i got ears :)

i love the two babes :)

~~like i got offend you like that, like you got wrong meh ?~~
~~now i realised yes , you are not as perfect as i think, so f off pls . i am really piss by yr everything .~~

actually still got alot of things i want to vent out but i dun wan :)
some other time ba :)

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

2:41 AM

26th june

wee, today went to school
simin never come , then min sent back home cause of dye hair ?
okay , then now we have two maids teaching us : (
they know how to teach mah?
lol , then was freaking tired lo ,
then after school went to eat at mac with jinwen and claris ,
then played at playground :)
cam-whored? and went back :)
lazy upload pics :/

to simin - ps , forget got go playground cause jinwen after that then told me

well,dun ask me anything , i dunwan to know and dun wan to say :)

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

2:35 AM

25th june(:

hello people . in the computer lab right now and i loving it :)
yeah :/
hell man still a long long way before school ends :(

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

5:13 PM

quiz : )

1. Do you wish to get married ?
- no , i am afraid :x
2. What do you want to do now ?
- take the world and run : )
3. What would you be doing at 6pm?
-.watch tv
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes ?
- yes , but again there are no perfect ppl in these world so i cant blame them but maybe they also dun like me : (
5. Where do you wish to die ?
- anywhere as long my wishes are completed :)
6. Will you go for plastic surgery ?
- no , i dun wan be like jolin :)
7. What are the impossible things you wish to do ?
- get good results and alot la :)
8. Your darkest secret
- well ,:x only 2-3 ppl know :x
9. Are you happy with your life now ?
- yes
10. What if crush ask you out ?
-. go out lo
11. What would you do when you're bored ?
- .sms people lo
12. What would you use to describe yourself ?
- .get jealous easily :x , well, sometimes i hate my fcuking character too :)
13. Do you cherish every friendship of yours ?
- depends whether they are worth my effort :) if its just faking , then wats the point ?
14. Do you hate anyone now ?
- well, whats the point , i realised if someone doesnt like you , then he never will
no matter what you do :)

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

3:02 AM

24th june

hello people :)
well, today was almost late for school but went in school just nice :) heng lo
then , blablabla, i dun like both the home econs teacher . boring piece of crap :/
then all the lessons kinda boring :x
after school , went koufu eat then saw shilei , charissa and shu feng , then went tiong with them , well crapped then went home :) they are nice people .

i dun know why everything about you still matters so much to me,just everything about you , sometimes i am still afraid to look at you or even hear your voice , maybe its because you hurt me too much ,that make me so afraid to look at the truth, sometimes i dun know what wrong with me . maybe , i havent forgoten you , its just that its too hard loving you, thats the reason i guess , but i dun wan be hongster so no matter how hard is it to forget you , i am gonna try cause i know you will never love me .
i finally understand something - loving someone is not easy so i am gonna treasured those who truly love me ,
and also if someone doesnt love you , if his heart isnt with you , there is no point waiting cause i realised that no matter what you do , he will never fall for you .
sometimes , i feel so silly , doing those stupid things; slashing , following and such . sometimes , i feel like laughing at myself ,because of you , i became such a fool , well, sometimes , its all because of you .

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

2:19 AM

20th june

HA , realised that i didnt blog for 7 dAys
had tuition in the morning
then went to bukit batok meet jinwen
regine called me to go science centre but didnt want to pangseh jinwen
so rejected them .
then mrted to habourfront
went to buy sushi and subway
then went to sit the monorail to sentosa
well, suntan ,ate, played water and build sandcastle .
after that , saw yanying and her friends .
then went to bath , well jinwen said i was super fast , wanted to play luge so stuffed things in the locker but the key cannot take out ; wasted $4 .
well , didnt have much time so didnt play ;promised jinwen dec come will play with her.went vivo ate the remaining food and mrted back :)msged baby :)
then went for piano lesson .

baby , i dun know why but i sensed you are keeping something from me.
maybe we really need more time to understand each other better .

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

4:04 AM

Did some thinking , was thinking my life is so dam pathetic , and suddenly turned emo , then cried non-stop . well , I dun know of being with you was the right choice , but since I chose this path , I guess all I can do is just to follow , if it was wrong , well at least I or rather we tried . I cant day I have no feeling for you but things turned out differently . love cant be nutured , I always thought it could but I guess I ganna changed my thinking for now. Well , dreams are dreams , no matter how hard you try some of them may not turn into reality . we came so far , but still dunno what we want ．　
guess i will end here 　

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

10:32 PM

13th JUNE 2008

today morning went with my sis and father to imm then at 11am my father fetched me to bukit batok macdonald's cause was supposed to meet my ex-classmates for class gathering . well, reached there the lastest ?
well , then went jec . went there then went arcade play , the boys all crazy like very long never play like that :x played daytona quite a few times cause nothing much to play also :/then went to wait for stephanie. after that , jarrod and ebel bought cinema tickets . then after that , went take neos with stephanie and xiaoxi . then went arcade again , played "wheel of fortune" was kinda lame but we just wanted to waste our card money:/ . then bought popcorn and drinks , who knew the popcorn was giantic . well, went in for our show . so little ppl :/ then was frezzing inside . well , after that went to find the boys cause they were gaming then gave them the popcorn cause cannot finish mah , then went to find the rest at the library . well ,soon everybody came to the library . then was deciding where to go cause everybody wanted to go different places . well then in the end , walked to imm . then most of them went home and the rest went imm , then before go to playground another 3 people wanted to go home so in the end left me and xiaoxi and yixin , long time never see yixin already :) . then peied yixin go buy fbt at giant and xiaoxi was kinda angry cause we were making fun of her and elvin . then all of us took 188 home , dun know why this bus is always so rocky? okay , then watched tv before going to my uncle's wedding .well , waited for my uncle to come cause he was late , in the meanwhile was msging max kor . long time never talk to him also. well , the person who did the ROM thing was so weird and the things they said was so mushy la , then had dinner and blablabla then went home .
okay , today is max kor birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY . hahax . well , he was kinda sad on his birthday, cheer up .
same for baby , he was kinda emo too . lalalal. cheer up people:)

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

10:17 PM

11th june 2008

today slept tilled 7.30-8 am like tat then went online .baby bad mood :( blablabla.
then at 11.30am was supposed to meet jinwen at yewtee but she never pick up phone calls and answer msges:( then after that her sister told me she was bathing . then mrted to yewtee . waited for her . blablabla . went to do ****** but jinwen say they cheat us money cause no improvement . quite pain la but try ma .but wasted $30 :(
then mrted to orchard . well, reach already go find wheelock placecause wanted to eat sakae then walked a few rounds before finding wheelock place , then went sakae .
wah eat until $ 42 like that . i treated jinwen okay cause it was me who wanted to eat sakae ma . then walked to cineleisure, was kinda lost:x. okay the place so big
and cold . went to the 6th floor to watch movie .bought the tickets and popcorn then went in . the movie started already so was kinda dark .lucky managed to find our seats with jinwen help cause i blurblur . this was like the 3rd or 4th movie i watched in my whole life? we watched "narnia 2 ". not bad , quite nice but got some parts quite touching so i cried 2 times :x
okay finished . went take neos with jinwen . the first machaine we took , was uber cool la . different from jec de : ) the second was lousier than jec or should i say the same ? okay then walked back to orchard mrt . then was finding watsons or guardian but cant find so decided go lot1 de. cause wanted to buy something then ran the whole lot1 dun have outside lot1 de also dun have. then the person ask her go yewtee de also dun have . then she told me she was emo - and my cardi was still with her . lmao. cheer up la , confirm can find de :)then baby was okay liao but he still like not very happy :(cheer up too,yeah .
ok then reached home around 8pm .

: )

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

8:05 AM

another quiz :）

1.what's th connection between you and th last person that called you ?
JINWEN . my love : )
2.do you ever turn your phone off ?
its turn of itself cause no battery
3.what happened at 10am today ?
blogging
4.when did you last cry ?
yesterday~~
5.what is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter ?
bread(?)
6.what do you want in your life right now ?
money and i wan all my friends , qans and baby and my family :)
7.do you carry an umbrella when it rains , or just put up your hood ?
i walk in the rain :)
8.what's your favourite thing to have on your bed ?
2 softtoys :)
9.what bottom are you wearing now ?
shorts
10.what does th nicest thing in your inbox say ?"
everything's nice as long its by my friends : )
11.do you tend to make a relationship complicated ?
sometimes , i do without realising . :(
12.are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?
No.
13.what was th last movie you caught ?
CJ7 i think . but tomorrow gonna watch two other movies i guess:)
14.what are you proud of ?
everything
15.what does th oldest text message from your inbox say ?
i cant be bothered , :(
16.what was th last song you sang out loud ?
my blog song ?
17.do you have any nicks ? what are they ?
sha-man-tou :) teddybear .anymore ?
18.what does your last msg say ? who was it from ?"
its from jinwen but i rather not say it :)
19.what time did you go to bed last night ?
1am
20.are you currently happy ?
i guess so .i have everything that a typical person needs.
21.who gives you best advices ?
jinwen , claris , karin :)
22.do you eat whipped cream straight from th can ?
no
23.who did you talk on th phone with last night ?
no one :)
24.is anything bugging you right now ?
of course but there are just too much things .
25.what/who was th last thing that made you laugh ?
JINWEN or CLARIS
26.do you wear toe socks ?
no
27.who was th last person you missed a call from ?
jinwen
28.have you ever had your heart broken ?
i guess so :(
29.what annoys you most in a person ?
well , no one is perfect but i hate a person who is two-sided
30.do you hve a crush on anyone ?
baby is all i need
31.have you ever done cocaine ?
no
32.what is th colour of your room ?
purple + white
33.would you kill someone you hate for a bilion dollars ?
well , no point . even i manage to kill the person , manage to spend the money
i will not be happy cause i will be guilty somehow .
34.do you believe in th saying ' talk in cheap ' ?
no
35. who was th last person to lay in your bed ?
myself
36.who was th last person to hug you ?
jinwen
37.did anyone see th last person you kissed ?
well , i dun remember .
38.do you have a life ?
of course .
39.have you ever thought someone died when they didn't ?
yes, cause it was only in my dream :(
40.what is th reason behind your profile song ?
well, the lyrics is meaningful:)
41.who was th last person you saw in your dream ?
idk~~
42.last time you smiled ?
today :)
43.have you changed this year ?
i guess so , change is the most constant thing around us .
44.what are you listening to right now ?
nothing~~
45.are you talking to someone while you're doing this ?
no
46.do you walk with your eyes open/closed ?
open
47.is there a quote you live by ?
love cant be force .
48.do you want someone you can't have ?
it was in the past , wasnt it ?
49.have you ever played an instrument ?
yes
50.what was th worst idea you had in this week ?
i am good so i dont think evil:)
51.what were you doing last night at 11.00pm ?
listening to music
52.are you happy with your love life now ?
yes , i guess so .
53.what song describes you love life ?
i dun know the title :(
54.do th person you like know it ?
of course .
55.who always makes you laugh ?
when i crap with claris or jinwen .
56.do you speak another language other than english ?
Yes.
57.are you blond ?
no.
58.what's your middle name ?
man . cause i am sha-man-tou:)
59.what are you doing tmr ?
going out with jinwen
60.what do you think you are like ?
well , i know i am not perfect but you dun have the right to judge me too:)
61.who do you choose to die with ?
baby:)
62.where have you been today ?
JEC
63.what game do you play often ?
none .
64.who are you missing now ?
friends.baby.my mum .qans.
65.if you were to choose between friends and love ?
it all depends, well can i have both pls?
66.what are you doing now ?
doing this quiz.
67.which primary school are you from ?
PEPS
68.name 3 colours you like .
BLACK.WHITE.BLUE
69.what emotion do you like to show ?
idk~~ sad or happy ?
70.what is life to you ?
sometimes , i feel like dieing ,
sometimes , i feel like taking the world and run with me
sometimes , i feel too happy to do anythingy
71.if you have something troubling you , what would you do ?
chat with someone i trust about it :)
72.who did you last chat with on msn today ?
well , i didnt go online for the whole day??
73.who do you admire most ?
everyone , who i think i should admire .
74.which month are you born in ?
october
75.how are you feeling right now ?
feelingless
76.what is th time now ?
23.42
77.where are you now ?
study room.
78.what colour did you use to die your hair ?
brown
79.why are you doing this test ?
cause i am bored
80.what do you do when you're moody ?
cry
81.at which age do you wish to get married ?
30. i wish to enjoy singlehood :)
82.who is more important to you , boyfriend or friends ?
BOTH . depends but i love baby and friends.
83.do you think you have enough confidence ?
No.
84.who is th one you trust th most ?
JINWEN,CLARIS,KARIN ~~~
85.do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain ?
yes
86.if you can have a dream come true , what would it be ?
change some things in life .
87.what is your goal for this year?
everything to go well ?
88.do you believe in eternity love ?
no . if this thing really exist , there will be no break-ups
89.what feeling do you love most ?
happy ~~~
90.do you believe it's global warming now ?
i think so
91.what feeling do you hate th most ?
being betrayed ~~~being hate~~~
92.do you cherish every single friendship of yours ?
yeah,of course
93.do you believe in God ?
no.
94.who cares for you th most ?
baby <3 . friends and qans <3 ?
95.what do you think is th most important thing in your life ?
everything i have .
96.what would you bring when you fight ?
i dun fight .
97.what have you regretted doing in your whole life ?
lots and lots and lots of things . how i wish time would turn back ?
98.how do you feel that no one ever cares for you anymore ?
cry till i die .
99.what would you do if your stead two-timed you ?
since he didnt treasure me , then break la . its not my lose mah .

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

8:11 AM

quiz

zuiai , ask me to do this quiz : )
if your crush suddenly talks to you, what will be your reaction ?
- happy la and talk lo .

if you have a dream to come true , what will it be ?
- baby forever , friends and qans too :)shopping for life :)

what is the first thing you do after you reach home after school ?
- depends .

what do you think of being questioned on relationship stuff ?
- nothing , if can answer , answer lo.

how long do you intend to wait for the person you really love ?
-1 year should be the longest
:)

if your crush is already attached , what will you do ?
- nothing .

is there anything that make you unhappy these days ?
- lack of money. got other things , but i perfer not to say : )

what do you see yourself in 10 years time ?
- same as now .

what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
- nice and kind , and i love her : )

would you rather be single & rich or married & poor ?
- single and rich if i cant be married to the person i love: )
married and poor if i can married to the person i love .

what is the first thing you do when you wake up ?
- depends .

would you give all in a relationship ?
- yes if i really love the person .

if you fall in love with 2 person at the same time , who would you choose ?
- the one who love me or the one i love more.

what type of friends do you like ?
- treat me the same as they treat their stead . nice , caring ,fun . someone like jinwen:)

do you have a pet ?
- nope.

will you ever fall in love with someone who once hurt you ?
- no , i dun think i can forget the past so easily : (

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

5:56 AM

10th june 2008

today wanted to meet jinwen at bukit gombak mrt then go meet the rest. but i was kinda blur so missed the train jinwen was in , then trained there myself .
then saw ruiying and her friend, iris .
okay , then ziyi, claris,ruiying,jinwen,iris and me went to find peace and yinling .
me and claris didnt want to ice-skate at first so went eat kfc .
then after that claris asked me to pei her and jinwen ask me to pei her . then i dunno who to follow :(.
then cause me and claris didnt want to ice-skate,they called kehjun and his friend, jiawei . they idiot dumbass . made us wait so long then in the end ran away cause kehjun said : he didnt say he wanted to ice-skate.
then followed them and they made us look like idiots instead :０
then cause me and claris feel bad so went to ice-skate .jinwen paid for me :) ha, thanks alot. I LOVE JINWEN!
okay , our legs were shaking and the shoes were so hard to wear .
then i didnt dare and the rest so pro all know how to skate after a while , except me . I AM A NOOB IN ICE -SKATING .
then made one friend,monica, she super cute : )
there was another nice person who lend me a hand cause i was stuck . thanks :)
saw , zachary , fatin,shufeng, clarissa , indra ,ee liang(?) shilei , blablabla . all of them curse me to fall
:( but lucky i didnt . went to take neos with jinwen and claris . and the rest went home . then went eat with jinwen then went home .
went home watched tv ad msged baby : )
then was dicussing with jinwen about tomorrow .

baby , after so much , i realised i should treasure you more : )

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

5:44 AM

10th june 2008

ha , i am just waiting for time to pass .
today going out with claris,jinwen,peace,yinling,ruiying,ziyi(?)anymore ?
hahax tomorrow gonna go cathay watch movie with jinwen and do ******.
lalalala.

i love everyone . hahahax : )

i love you baby , yes you . no other , its you just you : )

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

7:55 PM

6th June 2008

As usual had band so met up with jinwen and claris at jurong mrt cause we wanted to eat subway . then went to imm after everybody came . blahblahblah and ate subway and we bought cookies for lunch, after that , went toliet to tie our hair but we didnt clipped up our fringe la .Then cabbed to school cause was too lazy to walked and mrted . then reached school went toliet to tie hair again . ha, we just love our hair too much : )
then had photo -taking blahblahblah .then went for lunch . went to play at sky garden . weeeeee. then went back to school took everything and was ready to go to victoria concert hall. reached there late, so had less time to practice . dr lee seemed quite angry with our performance during the reharsal . then after that had dinner and changed , went to tune our instrument but some stupid person wanted to chase us out . then , HE and MS SEAH spoiled our mood :( but soon it was the concert and the recurits only need to perform second-half so went to watch our seniors performed the first half . ha , i think they went GREAT:)
but when we were scared cause got stage - fright . then went up the stage performed three songs but some i dunno . looking at DRLEE and MRSTAN facial expressions think there was slight mistakes . but everything turned out fine :)
then people went shouting "on-call"(?)so the seniors performed another piece. and we popped the poppers . hahax . after that people were playing and throwing the poppers on each other then got scolded by ms seah . then went back to the school .
:X sorry i invaded your privacy . at times i didnt know you loved her so much . hahax. didnt know you were so devoted . then went back school helped carry everything back to band room . the percussion instrument were heavy on the whole .
my senior is leaving . we are not close so i didnt cry but he better go hk with us if not i am going to be killed , but afterall he is my senior , seeing one empty sit , makes me feel sad too . i am warm-blooded of course got feelings kay .
claris father fetched her so me and jinwen mrted back . went home and smsed and blahblahblah then went to sleep lol.

010608 when will our love story ends ?
having you and not having you makes no difference in my life but i guess when my job is done , when you are happy enough i will leave .sorry

♥ love was never tht easy all i get was hurt. with me

8:11 PM